He unravels. His mind dwindles, sanity barely hanging on edge.
But he’s still human.
“--I’m a fucking monster.” he managed to choke out, tears rushing down his cheeks as you hold him, a grim expression on your features. There’s blood all over you, both yours and the titans you defeated earlier, though it sizzles away-- a noise that sickens you.
The mission is over. You’re returning to the walls now, though you’re not sure what to feel. Relief, perhaps?
You don’t know.
The people have lost hope in the Scouting Legion by now. Returning home would only allow you to receive burning glares. But it also meant that you survived another expedition, although you’re not entirely sure you really did survive.
Eren lost it.
He’s necessary to the team-- having a titan is a huge advantage, regardless of what others say.
But all things come with a price.
“Don’t say that,” you murmur, a hand running through his hair.
He had shifted into titan form, but he wasn’t able to control it. He lashed out on most of you, but thankfully, he hadn’t injured anyone. Everyone knew that he hadn’t completely adjusted to the form, knowingly keeping their distance. Levi had to cut him out.
And now, here you were, arms wrapped tightly around him as he clung onto you, attempting to stifle his sobs.
He hates himself so much--- but he shouldn’t.
He is everything he despises.
“I could have killed someone-- I could have killed all of you.”
You struggle to keep calm, your expression holding a small bit of concern as you kiss him on the forehead.
“But you didn’t, Eren. You helped us.”
He truly did assist the team, though it would have been much better if he had been able to control the himself.
But how long could this last for?
he’ll [ l o s e ] himself someday.
Every transformation; every shift, his mental health dwindled. He was no longer the healthy teenager you knew-- he was completely different. His anger was the only thing that fueled him.
But humanity can’t afford to lose him.
So they’ll keep pushing him to his limit-- however far that is. It doesn’t matter that he’s still human. He’s a titan, and that’s all that matters.
“Promise me,” he says in a hoarse tone, “If something happens out there, just kill me.”
“Please, just end it.”
The desperation in his voice; the pleading expression. You’ve never seen him so vulnerable. Tears welling up in your eyes, you can no longer find your voice, brows creased as you study him intently.
His hand grips yours tightly, green optics staring into yours, awaiting for the answer.
You can’t feel your body anymore.
Numbly, you nod slowly, unable to register what he’s just asked you.
You don’t want to.
Because he’ll lose his humanity at one point, and no matter how hard you reach out to him, you’ll never gain your loved one back.
Humanity will win; but Eren will lose.